• Divorce Rates higher for men and women aged 40 – 44 years

    April 16, 2012

    Domestic Violence Advice

    Figures from the Office of National Statistics show that the number of couples engaging in marriage are at the lowest rate since 1895, and that each year an equivalent of half the number of people getting married get divorced.

    The average marriage length before divorce in 2010 was at 11.4 years; which is an increase from the statistics provided in 1985 which showed the length as being an average of 8.9 years, in 1972 it was at 12.2 years which is a positive sign.

    The figures for divorce are currently higher for men and women aged 40 – 44 years.

    However what is also clear is that society or external factors play a part in the impact on relationships in general, not just on marriage breakdowns but on couples separating which in turn impacts on any children within the family unit but also on reasons for entering into a marriage or partnership.

    What I mean by that is around key events such as First World War there was an increase in marriage; Second World War increase before it, but decrease after it…which could indicate that due to the fact that more women had an opportunity for employment during second world war, so when it ended were reluctant to relinquish that opportunity, and since then there has been the increase in opportunity for education, employment, financial security/independence, more control over fertility etc…so marriage is no longer a `percieved necessity` for financial or reproductive stability, but one that is perhaps linked more so with romance and emotional stability.

    During the current economic climate with increasing unemployment and the downturns in the housing market couples are under increased financial pressure, which in turn impacts on the relationship and provides family instability.

    Money is tight for most couples and individuals at present, and where possible cut backs are made such as changing spending habits, but some things are difficult to do without completely such as heating and other energy bills, coupled with the increase in the cost of such energy bills and food costs rising, people are becoming more frustrated which again impacts on the relationship.

    What happens unfortunately is that couples leave getting help until crisis point, when the levels of hurt, pain, rejection, resentment, anger etc have increased, rather that seeking help when the cracks first start to appear.

    Figures from the Office of National Statistics also show that the reasons cited for divorce are greatest for Adultery and also for Behaviour.

    Adultery (affairs/infidelity) on the part of both men and women is often (but not solely) embarked upon as one partner does not feel that their needs are being met, such as feeling valued, feeling listened to, feeling supported, feeling loved and wanted, being respected…as well as the sexual element.

    Couples can if they both want to and are able to, work through and survive affairs, as often an affair is a symptom of the relationship difficulty itself, and if those difficulties are explored, discussed and renegotiated but this often through working with a third party such as a relationship counsellor, who can manage and contain such difficult and emotive conversations between the couple, and can facilitate an opportunity for both of the couple to be listened to, and to listen to the other, in order to move forward.

    If you or anyone you know is going through relationship difficulties then why not consider seeking help from a relationship counsellor.

    For relationship counselling in Cheshire why not contact Selyor Therapy Centre either by calling 01244 760113   or  01829 660113  or via email: selyortherapycentre@gmail.com or finding out more about the services by visiting the Website: www.selyortherapycentre.com

    About Tina Royles

    Connet with me: Google+ Tina Royles is the UKs leading expert in domestic violence offering Domestic Violence Counselling, Relationship Counselling and Anger as well as Stress Management Counselling. She is one of the UK’s most qualified and experienced domestic violence experts providing consultancy and advice to those who have suffered domestic violence, are currently in violent relationships or to friends and family of those affected. Tina provides the materials and tools to manage relationship difficulties and domestic violence through awareness and education and is regularly called upon by the national and local press to provide expert comments on high profile cases. Tina Royles

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